Bringing home a new baby, whether it’s your first or your fourth, is a life-changing experience. It can be exciting, joyful, and also full of unknowns. No matter how much you prepare, there are always surprises, and the transition can feel overwhelming.
That’s why postpartum planning can be such a valuable (and often overlooked) tool. It helps you create a thoughtful plan for what life may look like after your baby arrives so you feel more confident and less stressed during those early weeks.
What is Postpartum Planning?
Postpartum planning is a preventative, proactive process that can be done with a therapist with training in the perinatal period. It is designed to help individuals and couples navigate the changes that come after birth. It can reduce postpartum distress, ease the transition into parenthood, and support healthier relationships and family dynamics. Postpartum planning can be helpful for couples and individuals (including individuals who are not partnered). Ideally, planning starts a few months before birth so that by the time delivery approaches, you feel more at ease by having increased clarity around what to expect and how to manage the changes ahead.
5 Key Areas of Postpartum Planning
1) Setting (and Resetting) Expectations – This starts with first uncovering what current expectations or pressures might be in place about what life will look like in the first 6-12 weeks after your baby’s arrival. Many of us have hidden expectations about what life should look like in the weeks after giving birth. These are often shaped by our families, culture, and/or social media. Postpartum planning helps you:
- Uncover any unconscious beliefs or pressures
- Decide what’s realistic and what isn’t
- Adjust expectations around roles, responsibilities, and routines
- This can include:
- Who will handle night feedings?
- How will chores be divided?
- What support is needed for other children?
- What will time-off look like?
- What mindset would be most helpful during this period?
Through postpartum planning, you can get ahead of potential conflict, navigate where adjustments may need to be made, and responsively make decisions to best support your family as a whole. Getting ahead of these decisions reduces tension, limits conflict, and allows for greater flexibility once your baby arrives.
2) Planning for Sleep – Sleep deprivation is one of the biggest stressors for new parents. While you can’t avoid disrupted sleep completely, you can create a plan that helps you get more rest. That might include:
- Proactively creating plans for feeding and sleeping shifts
- Finding ways to schedule naps during the day
- Prioritizing sleeping when your baby is sleeping
- Making a plan so you know when and how to ask for help
Even a little bit of planning can go a long way in prioritizing this crucial component of your mental and overall health.
3) Identifying Your Support Systems and Resources – Support comes in many forms and knowing what resources are available ahead of time can make a big difference. For example, planning ahead for:
- Questions you may have for your nurses during your hospital stay
- Local professionals (like lactation consultants or doulas) you can access
- Finding online communities, parenting groups, and resources that align with your values
Having this “village” mapped out before your baby comes can help you feel less isolated and more equipped to handle challenges as they arise.
4) Maintaining a Sense of Self – After baby, it’s common to feel like you’ve lost touch with who you are outside of parenthood. That’s why postpartum planning also includes strategies to stay grounded in your identity. Consider:
- What activities bring you joy or calm?
- When and how will you be able to carve out small breaks for yourself?
- What boundaries do you need to set to protect your mental health?
- How can you let others help?
This kind of intentional self-care can help reduce postpartum anxiety/depression, burnout, and even postpartum rage. It’s not selfish—it’s truly necessary.
5) Strengthening Your Relationship (If Partnered) – Having a baby changes your relationship (and not always in the ways you expect). Postpartum planning helps couples prepare by focusing on:
- Open communication
- Division of labor
- Conflict management strategies
- Staying emotionally connected and appreciative of one another
- Identifying common pitfalls that parenting couples frequently fall into and ways to prevent them
As Dr. John Gottman says, “the greatest gift you can give your baby is a strong and healthy relationship between the two of you.” Investing in your connection pre-arrival helps create a more supportive and stable home for your growing family.
No One-Size-Fits-All Plan
Every family is different, and there’s no universal formula for getting the postpartum period “right.” But having a plan, your plan, can help reduce uncertainty, ease anxiety, and create a more grounded, peaceful transition.
Final Thoughts
Many people find that working with a therapist or postpartum planning professional provides structure, tools, and emotional support throughout the process. With a little bit of guidance, you can identify roadblocks early, communicate more effectively, and enter this next chapter feeling more prepared and empowered.
