The chaotic holiday scramble and the end of the year madness are over. You may have even already made, and given up, your New Year’s Resolutions. Why should we give up on ourselves? Why should we stop trying to be better? Those of us that aren’t growing remain stagnant, but it’s hard not to feel burnt out. It’s even harder to get back on that horse and try again. Rather than forcing abrupt, out of character rules upon ourselves, this year we can work towards positive change in a gradual way. Pick up your pens and re-write your New Year’s story. Make your resolutions last all year instead of just one measly month. The following inspirational tips will help guide you towards positive change in a gentle and loving way.
1. Set intentions rather than goals
The operative words above are “work towards”. Rather than setting goals, make intentions. An intention is a course of action that one intends to follow. A goal is the object of a person’s ambition or effort. For instance, if your goal is to lose a certain amount of weight; then your intention might be to eat healthy and to exercise. Basically, an intention is less burdensome and more accessible because it is an aspirational way of being. You can only reach a goal once, but an intention is achievable all the time and is everlasting.
2. I want instead of I won’t
One of the biggest conundrums of life is that there are many things that we want to avoid doing, but do not understand how to stop. Having a desire to stop is the first step to change, but isn’t necessarily the secret to stopping. If you are asked to stop doing or thinking about something, oftentimes, the behavior is perpetuated.
Right now, stop reading, and try not to think of a pink elephant……….. Did you find that pink elephants were just flying around your computer? Research indicates that they probably were.
The best way to change an unwanted behavior is to replace it with something that is in line with your intention. In addition, if you know what you want, it is easier to create small steps that align with your intention. For Example:
- Change, I won’t drink as much unhealthy drinks to I want to drink more water. Replacing with water keeps you occupied and in line with your intention. Start by skipping the first glass of wine by replacing it with water. Then move on to include the last glass.
3. Reward yourself along the way
No one is perfect and everyone needs encouragement! It has been proven time and time again that punishment is not the most effective way to increase behavior. Positive reinforcement consistently wins the race. Every time you follow your intention in any way, reward yourself for it. It does not need to be a big reward. All you have to do is acknowledge yourself for a job well done. You can do that by either telling people about your accomplishment, writing it down in a journal, or simply using positive self-talk. It may sound silly, but it works! There is nothing better than the feeling proud of yourself. Change is hard, and therefore, it necessitates encouragement to have any habitual holding ground.
4. Keep track
One way to successfully follow your positive intention is to be aware of your progress. Keep a journal beside your bed and track how many times a day you diligently followed through on your intention. Reward yourself for any actions that were taken in a positive direction. If you can’t remember anything that day, no need to feel guilty. Give yourself credit in your journal for simply keeping the intention in mind. Not only is journaling a method to measure progress, but it is also a daily reminder of your intention.
5. Meditate on it
Another way to maintain focus is to meditate on your intention. Create a mantra for yourself that encapsulates the meaning of your intention. A mantra usually is one to two words that you can say on the inhale and exhale of your breath. If your intention is to enjoy life more, then your mantra would be “enjoy life”. All you have to do is sit in a comfortable seated position, close your eyes and say to yourself on the inhale, “enjoy”, and on the exhale say, “life”. Each time thoughts come in to distract you, gently let go of the thoughts and return to your mantra. Remember, when you create a mantra the same principal of I want vs. I won’t applies. It is important to bring in positive energy rather than negative. Repeat this for 5 – 20 minutes each morning. What a great way to start the day!
6. Create Rituals Around Your Intention
In the United States, brushing teeth did not become routine until after World War II, when American soldiers had to clean their teeth daily. When a behavior is ingrained in your routine at the same time, and in the same way each day, your mind will include it in your autopilot. Meaning that it will take less effort to remember to do it. There will be no choice in the matter. Making a choice takes energy. If your intention is to exercise more, you will benefit from scheduling it into your day in a predictable pattern. Start working out on autopilot. Pack your gym bag the same way every night, visit the same yoga class with your favorite teacher every week, and soon you will notice there’s no choice in the matter. Begin building your effortless workout routine today!
7. Surround yourself with people who support your intention
Often we sabotage our intentions by associating with people, places and things that promote the opposite. For example, in order to keep an intention of spending money wisely, it is beneficial to avoid expensive bars and restaurants. Set yourself up for success by planning ahead. Start making your lunch before work and eat with others that do the same. If cigarettes are a vexing problem, make friends that don’t go outside at break time. It is difficult to change your routine and/or the people you socialize with, but trust that it will be worth it once you finally quit those cigarettes!
8. Create realistic intentions and increase gradually
For self-esteem purposes, create realistic and reachable intentions. Set yourself up for success by making sure that each intention is possible and then increase gradually. It is jolting to start a five a day a week exercise program if you haven’t been exercising at all. It would take a lot of willpower to maintain a program like that and willpower is a finite resource. Choose to start slow and make it a pleasurable experience. It’s nice to actually follow through. Let go of punitive and harsh goals. Instead celebrate your success when your intention comes to fruition!
9. Make it fun!
The most important message about self-improvement and positive intentions is to make it fun! Make sure your intention is something that you actually want to do! There’s nothing worse than grinding your teeth desperately trying not to do something. Instead, add something beautiful and creative to your life. Lastly, remind yourself that there is no end to a positive intention, and therefore, no way you can fail. As long as the intention is there, you have already succeeded!
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