What is Acceptance & Commitment Therapy? (ACT)
Summer Mayne, APCC
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) is founded on the concept of increasing psychological flexibility. Psychological flexibility is the idea that people can accept and handle painful events, or they can commit to change, because of what they care about. If you’ve ever heard the saying - “People can do hard things” - then you have already been introduced to ACT philosophy. Essentially, the values you hold near and dear can reframe your mindset, consequently outweighing the pain of the current hardship that exists in your life or redirecting your life towards meaningful change. Unwanted feelings and thoughts don’t necessarily go away, rather they become more tolerable to sit through and therefore easier to manage. In ACT, there is no such thing as a negative emotion or thought, rather there are natural emotions and thoughts that stem from living in a world where pain and joy exist simultaneously.
- Given the distinction between you and the stuff you are struggling with and are trying to change, are you:
- willing to have that stuff, fully and without defense
- as that stuff is, and not as what your language says it is
- and DO what takes you in the direction
- of what is vital and meaningful
- at this time, and in this situation?
This is the central question we are seeking to answer through ACT. Now if this is your first time learning about ACT, this may sound jumbled and confusing.
So let’s break it down in layman's terms:
(1) “Given the distinction between you and the stuff you are struggling with and are trying to change”
It is here you become an observer of yourself (this may feel a little strange, but stay with me to the end.) You will start learning how to delineate yourself - your core self - from the various attachments and labels that you may currently hold to be true, a.k.a. “the stuff.” As you try and change this "stuff," you begin to understand that the context of your core self is not the content of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This quote by Michael Singer, author of The Untethered Soul, helps summarize this part of ACT:
“You are not your thoughts; you are aware of your thoughts. You are not your emotions; you feel emotions. You are not your body; you look at it in the mirror and experience this world through its eyes and ears. You are the conscious being who is aware that you are aware of all these inner and outer things.”
(2) “willing to have that stuff, fully and without defense”
Here you begin to work on acceptance. In ACT, acceptance refers to actively sitting through the discomfort, pain, shame, or other emotions and allowing yourself to truly feel them. I mean, really really feel it. In this feeling, you give yourself the permission and grace to be vulnerable without judgement or criticism. Here you are you, no one else can be you, and all parts of you are valid, important and worthy of space.
(3) “as that stuff is, and not as what your language says it is”
Historically, language holds power - but it doesn’t always have to. The words we choose to speak to others and ourselves can evoke strong emotion and feeling. When our internal voice is shaming us or placing harmful labels on us, it can cause intense physical pain or discomfort that makes you want to jump out of your own skin. The problem here is, we are always thinking. Always. Even right now as you read this article, you are thinking and there is a dialogue happening inside your head. So we are bound to have unwanted thoughts every now and again, right? It’s nearly impossible to exist without them. In ACT, we are not trying to fight these inevitable unwanted thoughts, instead we are trying to defuse from them. The process of defusion is one where we learn how to acknowledge and accept the thoughts that are present, and then let them float by without giving them any power. It is learning how to view unwanted thoughts as just words, instead of knives.
(4) “and DO what takes you in the direction”
Here your foot meets the pavement. You make a commitment to yourself to start behaving in ways that are in line with your values. This is where you and your therapist work together to develop a concrete action plan that sets you on your path to growth and helps you navigate learning how to change the way you interact with your thoughts. This will look different for everyone who engages in ACT, but it is typically demonstrated through various types of activities inside and outside of sessions. Your therapist is your confidant, supporter, and accountability partner to help you meet your commitments until you are ready to venture towards your values on your own.
(5) “of what is vital and meaningful”
Values are like the road signs in our life. You never arrive at your values, they simply provide the direction for where you would like to go. When we talk about values, we don’t necessarily mean generalized terms such as family, health, or love. We mean, what do you specifically value? Do you value being healthy long enough to watch your grandkids graduate high school? Do you value being in a committed, respectful, loving partnership where communication is strong and you are compassionate towards one another? Do you value being independent and capable of taking care of your individual needs without being reliant on others? Values give our life meaning and purpose, and can change over time. Think about who you were 5 years ago, 10 years ago, or even 20 years ago. Is what you valued then the same as what you value now? If so, what is that value and are you currently acting in ways that honor it? In essence, values are the motivator and predictor of long-term success.
(6) “at this time, and in this situation?”
When we contact the present moment, we are in the now. The present moment can never be past or future, it is always now. If you feel clouded with events of the past or are plagued by fears of the future, you may struggle to engage in the present moment as it is not possible for your mind to also be in the now. This part of ACT uses mindfulness, however the intentions are slightly different. The goal of using mindfulness in ACT is not to achieve relaxation (although it is a welcome side effect). The goal is actually to practice sticking to a commitment while defusing from your thoughts and accepting your feelings.
For example, you set a goal each day to meditate for 5 minutes. Each time you meditate, your thoughts start racing and you lose focus of the meditation (it happens to all of us). To reorient yourself back into the present moment, you remind yourself that you made a commitment to sit in stillness for 5 minutes and you intend on keeping that commitment to honor your value. As you reorient yourself, you notice your thoughts but do not engage with them. Instead, you allow them to pass by like leaves on a stream. Some thoughts are stronger than others and may evoke emotion, so you practice your acceptance and allow yourself to feel the emotion before letting the thought float by. You keep your commitment by doing this every day for 5 minutes. Soon you no longer have emotions that come up because you are defused from your thoughts, and you notice your mind wandering less and less because you are more engaged in the present moment. As you continue, you add 2 minutes to your meditation each day. Eventually you are sticking to your commitment, acting in service of your values, and existing in the now for 20-30 minutes every day. While meditation is only one of many different mindfulness practices that can be utilized, you can see the small changes that occur by incorporating all parts of ACT together.
Through ACT you can discover the true essence of who you are, and begin to accept all parts of you (even the parts you don’t currently like so much). You will start to dive deep and learn what matters most to you, and why. You will start making commitments to yourself to engage in actions that show you have the potential for strength, resiliency, love, compassion, and most of all, growth. Your journey towards healing will not be easy, however if you give yourself the time, care and effort you deserve, you will become more psychologically flexible and you will prove that you are capable of doing hard things.
In the wise words of Robert Frost, “the only way out is through.”
Please call our intake team at (619) 330-9500 to learn more about ACT or to inquire about scheduling an appointment today!
