How to effectively respond to the powerful emotion of anger By Crystal Duncan, LCSW
It is a misconception believing it is wrong to feel angry, or to react to any situation with anger. Anger is a natural human emotion which is evoked for various reasons, usually revolving around some form of pain, hurt, rejection, fear, or injustice. Anger can motivate and stimulate you to take action in order to create a solution to the anger, or to protect yourself from the source of the anger.
First it is important to create awareness of your anger warning signs. Ask yourself what are the outward signs or inner feelings I have when I am angry. Once aware of your signs you can utilize tools which are helpful to effectively respond to any situation.
Signs of anger:
Physical - increased heart rate, heightened blood pressure, tightening muscles, and or flushed face. These are some common physical responses when one is experiencing the emotion of anger.
Cognitive - is how you perceive and think about what is making you angry. We might think something which happened to us is wrong, unfair or undeserved. Example, ‘It is wrong for that person to talk down to me’, ‘I should be treated better than this.’
Behavioral- Voice tone and volume increase, becoming tearful and emotional, or simply getting away from the situation. Your behavioral sign may lead you to state why you are angry, ask or demand a time-out, request an apology, or confront the situation which evoked the emotion in you.
Tools to effectively respond and manage any situation of which anger is evoked.
All of us respond more effectively when our anger is not at its highest intensity. When we are in our emotional brain we have a hard time not reacting. We want to find a balance between our emotional brain and our rational brain. The balance of the two is where we are the most effective at evoking change in ourselves.
When your anger reaches the point where it turns to rage and you want to lash out violently you need to step away from the situation causing your anger. Take a cold shower, go for a walk or run, use calming techniques as a way to bring your emotional level down. Once you have taken time to process your thoughts you are better able to express your feelings and manage the emotion of anger. Recognizing the emotion you are experiencing will help you to respond and effectively manage it. Suppressing anger only leads to future pain or frustration. Remember, anger is a normal emotion. It can motivate us to stand up for ourselves and correct injustices. When we manage anger well, it prompts us to make positive changes in our lives and everyday situations.
One of the most important things you can do for your health and well being is to find and utilize effective ways to manage anger! Aristotle said, “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way – this is not easy.”
First it is important to create awareness of your anger warning signs. Ask yourself what are the outward signs or inner feelings I have when I am angry. Once aware of your signs you can utilize tools which are helpful to effectively respond to any situation.
Signs of anger:
Physical - increased heart rate, heightened blood pressure, tightening muscles, and or flushed face. These are some common physical responses when one is experiencing the emotion of anger.
Cognitive - is how you perceive and think about what is making you angry. We might think something which happened to us is wrong, unfair or undeserved. Example, ‘It is wrong for that person to talk down to me’, ‘I should be treated better than this.’
Behavioral- Voice tone and volume increase, becoming tearful and emotional, or simply getting away from the situation. Your behavioral sign may lead you to state why you are angry, ask or demand a time-out, request an apology, or confront the situation which evoked the emotion in you.
Tools to effectively respond and manage any situation of which anger is evoked.
All of us respond more effectively when our anger is not at its highest intensity. When we are in our emotional brain we have a hard time not reacting. We want to find a balance between our emotional brain and our rational brain. The balance of the two is where we are the most effective at evoking change in ourselves.
When your anger reaches the point where it turns to rage and you want to lash out violently you need to step away from the situation causing your anger. Take a cold shower, go for a walk or run, use calming techniques as a way to bring your emotional level down. Once you have taken time to process your thoughts you are better able to express your feelings and manage the emotion of anger. Recognizing the emotion you are experiencing will help you to respond and effectively manage it. Suppressing anger only leads to future pain or frustration. Remember, anger is a normal emotion. It can motivate us to stand up for ourselves and correct injustices. When we manage anger well, it prompts us to make positive changes in our lives and everyday situations.
One of the most important things you can do for your health and well being is to find and utilize effective ways to manage anger! Aristotle said, “Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way – this is not easy.”