8 Self-Care Ideas for Busy Parents by Camile Carter, LMFT
Parenting and Self-Care in the same sentence? Feel free to laugh and roll your eyes, I know…it’s very hard but not impossible! Our days and nights are filled caring for other little humans, feeding, teaching, nurturing (you get it) fulfilling every need that those sweet little people have. Being a parent is amazing, exhausting, overwhelming and beautiful. The challenge doesn’t stop here, we also strive to be a decent partner, keep up a clean organized home and maybe even bring in a paycheck! Let’s not forget that we have or had a few great friends that miss us terribly and wonder when we can get out to coffee and chit-chat and catch up on our new and very busy lives. While we most definitely learned a ton reading our baby books and parenting books, and “What to expect” books, rarely if ever mentioned was the importance of practicing healthy self-care.
First, let’s take a look at some definitions. In health care, self-care can be defined as, “Any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control.” Psychology dictionary defines self-care as, “The process of looking after one’s self, avoiding all threats and issues that may make a person face irritable and uncomfortable.” I know, I know and yes it is a.o.k. to giggle out loud, it appears that self-care is something we should have control over!? But how do we add more minutes to our day? Who will keep things safe and happy and moving along if we take a self-care timeout? I would venture to say that this concept is challenging and maybe even foreign to most parents. Self-care can also mean different things to different people and is constantly evolving based on seasons of our lives. Practicing good self-care can mean “finding balance” it can mean “fulfilling one’s own needs” and it can also mean finding, creating and utilizing some really great “coping skills” that result in finding our internal…..Happy Place!
What I love the most about supporting and educating clients in this beautiful and brutal journey is exploring with them and guiding them in the discovery of shaping their own definition of self-care. It takes time to find out just what floats your happiness boat. It is constantly changing and taking new shape. For some it may be finding a moment during the day to be totally still, totally quiet and totally ALONE. For others it’s connecting with a friend talking, laughing, crying, hugging, sharing pictures but mostly CONNECTING with another human being. Sometimes self-care can mean tidying and organizing our environment which may result in a feeling of calm and peace and order. For others, cancelling the days chores and activities and lounging around in pj’s letting the kids play with play-doh at the kitchen table and pulling out every last lego results in feeling…….calm, happy and at parenting peace.
Whatever Self-Care means to you, I will say this…..try to take a “self-care” moment every single day. It will change who you are and it will change how you are as a parent.
Below are some ideas based on amount of time, whether you like to be alone or with others, have a nanny or 5 minutes, 1 or 10 kiddos and 10 or 100bucks! I will continue to add new ideas on a regular bases. Here’s Part 1!
If you can’t get out of the house….
1. Turn the TV off and turn up your favorite music. Grab your kiddos and have a dance party! Move, breathe, and shake it all out. Music and movement are very powerful and can actually release those “feel good” chemicals in our brain.
2. Light a really yummy candle of a scent you love! Make a cup of hot nurturing tea and grab the softest blanket you own. Smell, feel, taste. If the kids won’t get off your lap, ask them to sit next to you and read their favorite book to them, better yet call it “quiet time” and everyone grabs their own book. Even the littles love looking at cool picture books.
3. Mommy and Me Yoga or exercise videos! Your 3 year old wont laugh at you, and who cares how you look! It will feel great!
4. Call a friend. It doesn’t have to be totally quiet in the house and it doesn’t have to be a 30 minute conversation. Call someone who loves you unconditionally and chat about nothing or everything.
If you can get out of the house for few minutes solo…..
5. Grab a 6$ polish change. You are forced to sit down for 15 minutes and you have something pretty to look at for a few days when you are done. Game-changer.
6. Walk thru a local farmers market. You can spend 5 or 50$ you will be around other adults, you can plan a cool recipe based on what you find or just enjoy a coconut water and take in some Vitamin D! See, touch and smell beautiful things. Serotonin hello!
7. If you just HAVE to get out of the house and are maybe just craving some good ol’ fashion personal space, strap them kiddos in their seats (In the back!! J)) Head to your nearest drive-thru coffee shop and indulge in a little treat. Take the long way home, turn on your favorite tunes or just listen to the breeze of an open window.
8. If you live near water…..walk in it or near it. Amazing and Free!
These are just a few ways that you can put some fuel back into your personal tank. Be creative, do what feels good to you. Remember YOU are a warrior and you are doing a GREAT job! Please visit GoodTherapySanDiego.Com for more ideas or if you feel you need more support from a licensed clinician.
First, let’s take a look at some definitions. In health care, self-care can be defined as, “Any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control.” Psychology dictionary defines self-care as, “The process of looking after one’s self, avoiding all threats and issues that may make a person face irritable and uncomfortable.” I know, I know and yes it is a.o.k. to giggle out loud, it appears that self-care is something we should have control over!? But how do we add more minutes to our day? Who will keep things safe and happy and moving along if we take a self-care timeout? I would venture to say that this concept is challenging and maybe even foreign to most parents. Self-care can also mean different things to different people and is constantly evolving based on seasons of our lives. Practicing good self-care can mean “finding balance” it can mean “fulfilling one’s own needs” and it can also mean finding, creating and utilizing some really great “coping skills” that result in finding our internal…..Happy Place!
What I love the most about supporting and educating clients in this beautiful and brutal journey is exploring with them and guiding them in the discovery of shaping their own definition of self-care. It takes time to find out just what floats your happiness boat. It is constantly changing and taking new shape. For some it may be finding a moment during the day to be totally still, totally quiet and totally ALONE. For others it’s connecting with a friend talking, laughing, crying, hugging, sharing pictures but mostly CONNECTING with another human being. Sometimes self-care can mean tidying and organizing our environment which may result in a feeling of calm and peace and order. For others, cancelling the days chores and activities and lounging around in pj’s letting the kids play with play-doh at the kitchen table and pulling out every last lego results in feeling…….calm, happy and at parenting peace.
Whatever Self-Care means to you, I will say this…..try to take a “self-care” moment every single day. It will change who you are and it will change how you are as a parent.
Below are some ideas based on amount of time, whether you like to be alone or with others, have a nanny or 5 minutes, 1 or 10 kiddos and 10 or 100bucks! I will continue to add new ideas on a regular bases. Here’s Part 1!
If you can’t get out of the house….
1. Turn the TV off and turn up your favorite music. Grab your kiddos and have a dance party! Move, breathe, and shake it all out. Music and movement are very powerful and can actually release those “feel good” chemicals in our brain.
2. Light a really yummy candle of a scent you love! Make a cup of hot nurturing tea and grab the softest blanket you own. Smell, feel, taste. If the kids won’t get off your lap, ask them to sit next to you and read their favorite book to them, better yet call it “quiet time” and everyone grabs their own book. Even the littles love looking at cool picture books.
3. Mommy and Me Yoga or exercise videos! Your 3 year old wont laugh at you, and who cares how you look! It will feel great!
4. Call a friend. It doesn’t have to be totally quiet in the house and it doesn’t have to be a 30 minute conversation. Call someone who loves you unconditionally and chat about nothing or everything.
If you can get out of the house for few minutes solo…..
5. Grab a 6$ polish change. You are forced to sit down for 15 minutes and you have something pretty to look at for a few days when you are done. Game-changer.
6. Walk thru a local farmers market. You can spend 5 or 50$ you will be around other adults, you can plan a cool recipe based on what you find or just enjoy a coconut water and take in some Vitamin D! See, touch and smell beautiful things. Serotonin hello!
7. If you just HAVE to get out of the house and are maybe just craving some good ol’ fashion personal space, strap them kiddos in their seats (In the back!! J)) Head to your nearest drive-thru coffee shop and indulge in a little treat. Take the long way home, turn on your favorite tunes or just listen to the breeze of an open window.
8. If you live near water…..walk in it or near it. Amazing and Free!
These are just a few ways that you can put some fuel back into your personal tank. Be creative, do what feels good to you. Remember YOU are a warrior and you are doing a GREAT job! Please visit GoodTherapySanDiego.Com for more ideas or if you feel you need more support from a licensed clinician.